Love in the closet
written by Thembie Terry Zulu
You’ve been in love for a while now. And you wanna shout it from the rooftops that you’re bae’d up. So you log onto Facebook and go all Shakespeare on his timeline with such a loving post-Cupid would be ashamed.
You log in hours later and find that your post has been deleted!
What would you do?
You working your mind raw tryna find reasons why he has snubbed your public display of affection. Lemme help you speculate.
Because society and self-esteem demand that you have a man its an achievement when you get one and you can’t wait to show him off to the world. And that’s good and fine. But now we are living in a time where people wanna sell the dream. You wanna be in a relationship at all costs. Have it look good for the people and everything else like love and genuine happiness is damned
Nowadays, being claimed on social media is such a big thing its equaled to marriage. You’re his WiFi wifey and the relationship could be over in six clicks or less. Basically, it takes two to tango, do you know how your partner feels about this typa thing?
Have a conversation with your boo thang about how he feels about his love affair being an issue of public interest. There are many reasons why he would be a little skeptical about putting that info out there. What if he’s a low key Drug Lord and he’s protecting you from his enemies?
I just chuckled at that.
It’s so easy for us to jump to conclusions as to why he won’t publicize your relationship. The main fear is that you aren’t the only one. (A reasonable fear at that) Other fears sprout up as well such as inadequacy, “Is he ashamed of me?” “Am I not worthy to be known as his?” “Are we just a fling and nothing more?”
And if that’s the case you are selfish and broken. You have personal issues you need to work through. Only when you are whole should you get into a relationship. Your mother should have held you more cause we all know attention seekers lacked maternal affection.
I personally don’t like to make my relationship status public knowledge because people take stock of these things. And dating three different people is already too much and the assumption is always that sexual relations are involved. Miss me with that drama.
Unfortunately, there are some men that are very possessive and wanna brand you and mark their territory in a huge way. This is usually popular with less handsome men that get lucky and date a pretty girl. Everybody must know. Its a validation for him of some kind.
What I have learnt is that the most publicised relationships on social media are the shakiest… Its as if you know the relationship is doomed and so you overcompensate by trying to convince yourself by convincing other people that you are in love. And your relationship will play out in a very public way. You will always drag your issues onto social media when things aren’t well at home your relationship status will change to ‘widowed.’ It’s all childish really.
Ask yourself, “What’s the point of publicising my relationship?”
Who needs to know that you are in a relationship and how will it contribute to the knowledge base of trying to find a cure for HIV/AIDS?
Sometimes you can’t see past your insecurities and you are busy trying to appease them that you overlook that putting yourself out there has advantages and disadvantages.
I still have much more to say but I’d like to hear your comments about this topic. What are your thoughts and experiences about social media in relationships?
