Of Trapped In The (Water) Closet
I hate to ask, for directions, advice, help……. I am probably on my way to my destiny right now and I am lost or trapped somewhere, but I will get there…..
When you visit someone one of the things you must casually find out is, where the bathroom is located, if it works, and any special procedures you might need to be aware of… and also the Wi-Fi password.
Not all bathrooms are the same, some have no running water and you may need to go fetch by way of a bucket, maybe it must not be flushed, not ever, and special quirks you really ought to be aware of…….
Its awkward conversation to have but believe me, but it will save you from death by embarrassment, unless of course you plan on not using any other bathroom but your own. Good luck with that.
There I was visiting a friend, conversation was great and the effects of the large mug of tea, we were enjoying started kicking in. I excused myself for a quick bathroom break. I took a wrong turn or two, saw things I shouldn’t have, but that is neither here nor there. I may have poured some gin into my cup of tea, to break the ice, which is why, I was all zen and calm as if I open wrong doors all the time; you mumble apologies and walk away….
I located the water closet and locked the door, the key was there in the door’s ignition. I even checked the handle to make sure the door was locked, it was. I am a private person I value my privacy. Even if I had gone into the toilet to just spit, the gin was giving me a touch of nausea, I would have still locked the door.
Finding the bathroom was easy enough, getting out, not so much. The key wouldn’t turn and so I tried jiggling the door handle around… and it came right off and I heard the distinct sound of something falling, on the other side of the door. ……. It meant only one thing TRAPPED.
I laughed, because sometimes if you don’t laugh, you will freak out. Don’t Panic, I learnt that from The Hitch Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. I tried not to panic,and put on my Rose Coloured glasses, I assessed my situation:
Door out of order
Windows barred
I had left my phone on the table, in the lounge, next to my cup of gin and tea tonic, so I couldn’t call anyone for an emergency evacuation…..
I knocked on the door softly, too soft, no one could have heard it. I couldn’t bring myself to actually shout for help, and decided at some point someone is either going to come to use the bathroom or start looking for me after, figuring out I have been gone for far to long. If I had carried my phone I would have had something to do, instead I busied myself reading instructions on the detergents…
Who knew this is multipurpose ….. you learn something anywhere if you put your mind to it…..I even hummed R Kelly’s Trapped In The Closet quietly to myself, the man has his issues but he knows his music….
After what felt like forever, who knows how long it was, my phone tells me the time, and I didnt have it; eventually help arrived. I had been “missing” for far too long and a search party was calling my name. Am I the only one who finds it odd, to respond from the bathroom when someone calls your name? So I stayed silent yet hopeful. By deductive elimination, they figured out I was the one trapped in the bathroom.
Someone knocked on the door.
“Yes” I responded sheepishly
“But you are not to lock the door, nobody does, the key has issues.”
“How was I supposed to know?”
“You should have asked…..”
The End
Obviously I got out…. eventually, they had to remove the door by hinges, it was like an episode of Prison Break……..
By Beaton AKA B
